Thursday, February 11, 2010

The 3 things in every relationship

This is a picture of my husband and I. It's the typical engagement picture on the beach at sunset looking into each others eyes and holding a toaster. Yes everyone - that is a toaster.

But this toaster is not just any toaster. It is a symbol of an expression my stepdad says about choosing your partner which is,
"Take the three things you hate most about the person you are dating. Multiply that by 10 and if you can live with it, then you should get married."
Well our first "fight" was about this toaster. I liked it put away and he liked it on the countertop. So every morning he went to make toast he would have to pull it out of the cupboard, plug it in, toast the bread, eat, then go to work. Then I would wipe away the crumbs and put the toaster back in the cupboard. It lasted about three weeks before he finally snapped.
When sharing the story with our parents, they laughed because they knew our "rose-colored glasses" of new love were clearing up. They shared with us it's the little things in marriages that build up. The shoes he leaves laying in the hallway, the dishes she leaves in the sink for days, the light bulb no one wants to change, and the toaster's permanent spot in the kitchen.
I knew they were right but quickly dismissed it thinking, "I will never let those petty things bother me. Especially not with this wonderful man who is choosing to spend the rest of his life with me." Taven on the other hand, had the foresight to trust "experience and knowledge" when he carried the toaster out to the shore at sunset. (Well, I can call it foresight now 13 years later. Truth is, at the time, he was trying to make my parents laugh.)
This picture sits on the shelves at the offices of W.F. Underwood Financial and Insurance Services (my parents). When their clients come in, many will look at the picture, and do a double-take asking, "is that a toaster?" To which he will share his life lesson "the 3 things."
As with most couples, Taven and I have fought over many "toaster" issues throughout our marriage and never were they about a toaster - until two weeks ago when the one we've used broke. He went and bought a new one at Costco but I didn't like it (the slots weren't deep enough for his sourdough bread) So I told him I would exchange it. I went to three stores testing various types. Unsatisfied with them all, I decided the one he chose was perfect. I brought it home and meant to put it back where it belonged but instead left it in its box on the dryer. When he woke up and went to make toast he yelled, "Where's the damn Toaster!!!!!!!"

I laughed.

Then he did too.

So what are your three things? And/or what marriage advice can you share?
If you reply with some good advice before March 1st, you will be entered to win - you guessed it, a free toaster!!!!! Comment on the Facebook fanpage or below.

1 comment:

  1. Love that story! That is a very good point and some great insight from a couple that has been married for so many years. Things we don't often think about when getting married. Nice to reflect upon! Thank you.


Thanks for sharing!